Why hello there.
The exciting news is really not all that exciting. You're probably going to feel ripped off when you read it. I feel a little bit bad about including the word 'exciting', not once, but twice in the post title.
I tried to make this blog even more awesome by rearranging the entire layout. It was great for about two minutes until I realized instead of making me feel like I was at a dance party, it made me feel like I was stabbing myself with a paring knife. In a moment of confusion, instead of hitting cancel like a smart person, I twitched out and hit save. WHAT THE HELL?!
After I finished throwing everything in arms reach and using swear words that hadn't been invented until I screamed them, I tried to return it to the way it was before. There's something off about it now. Like a diarrhea fart in the room, it may not be clearly visible, but there is something definitely not right. I give up.
Now to the mildly exciting part. I've added new pages to the blog; an 'about' page and an 'FAQ' page. And then, equally exciting, I've added better formatting for mobile phones, for all those who like to read Take With A Grain while driving.
PS - don't read and drive. Or if you do, make sure you are a follower, so I least I know who's death to mourn.
Note: This is the weepy part I warned you about.
One of the first rules of blogging is not apologizing for long absences, the 2nd is not having long absences. I am not in the position to not post for a long time and expect people to want to read what I have to say. Truth time? Jen the Bloggess and Allie from Hyperbole and a Half. They are amazing. So good. Pinnacle of supreme awesomeness. Their talent is overwhelming. And they get sad, and they can't write. How can I possibly expect to even be anywhere near as wonderful as they are? It's overwhelming and intimidating. Trust me, I know that I will not ever be on that level, but you know? (insert something better expressed by a sober person). Anybody?
I have funny things to say about exploding eggs, but can't even tell you right now. And they aren't even hoo-ha eggs, they're real eggs. Which, now that I think about it, is probably less funny-slash-graphic then exploding hoo-ha eggs. That would be a weird ass super power. Think about it.