What does FAQ stand for?

Frequent Assaults on Quakers.

How many grapes can you fit in your mouth?

Depends if I'm alive or dead.  Alive, about 10.  Dead, about 20.

What do you have against Quakers?

I don't like oatmeal very much. 

Has anybody ever actually asked you any questions?


Do you find yourself funny?

Hysterically.  One time I read a sentence that contained 'solid state single discharge type capacitor unit', and my first thought was "that would be a terrible name for a child".  I laughed myself silly for about an hour, then called people to let them know how funny I am. 

Did they find it funny?


What does that tell you?

That I'm surrounded by fun-suckers, and need to find new friends who have senses of ha-ha as evolved as mine. 

Think you'll find anybody like that?

Yes, in a psych ward. 

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