Thursday, October 20, 2011

I hope you got warranty on your face repairs Miss Del Rey.

If I was in charge, this girl would have her original face put back on.  Why would you ever give yourself permanent duck-face?  That being said, I will admit that she does look sexy and mysterious.  By sexy I mean she looks like she's in the midst of performing a sexual act (blowjob for those of you who aren't my mother), and by mysterious, I mean her price structure is currently an unknown. 

Excuse my pettiness.  Miss Lana Del Rey, you are a delicious creature.  I am insanely jealous of your talent, and heartbroken that I am not you.  I crave your voice, your looks (original and aftermarket), and your hair.  You probably have more hair in your shower trap than I have on my head. 

Thanks to Annelise at box of crayons for exposing me to her. 



  1. I do love exposing people things to people, this is true.

    Isn't she a hot mess? So sexy yet so collagenised (I'm pretty sure that's a word).

    I started following you anonymously but after seeing your books on the right, fuck that shit, I'm following for realzies now. I mean, The Forgotten Garden, The Book Thief, About A Boy - I have to end the list there because I'm staring at the slideshow in a slightly manic way. Anyway, based on those books, I'm pretty sure we're BFFs. I'm coming over to go through your garbage for collectibles such as drain hair, and in return, I shall send you some of my eyelashes. x

  2. Well this is awkward. I just got back from smelling your hairbrush. We must have just missed each other!

  3. Dear Annelise,

    While I'm happy that you two found each other, you should know that Teresa once recommended that I purchase and read Hemmingway's The Old Man and the Sea. I will forever hold that against her and, frankly, you should too.


    Dear Teresa,

    Other than that, you are baller!


  4. Dear Cary,

    It's not my fault you don't like books without pictures. Maus is a comic book. You (and everybody else) should try that one. AhMayZing.

    I had to look up the meaning of baller. I don't think you can be baller if you have to look up baller. It makes me the opposite of baller; I am cuber!


  5. Dear Cary,

    Duly noted. Unreasonable (on my behalf) grudge against Teresa now in place.