Wednesday, November 30, 2011

A cure for meh-laise.

I've had a case of the ughs lately.  The kind of ooogy feeling where nothing in particular is wrong, but an over-all 'meh-ness' permeates my cells.  That's why I haven't been posting much, or doing anything other than work and sulk.  During times like these, I'll take anything funny, happy, or completely bizarre, anything to help me forget to remember to be in a shit mood.

This is one of those things:

Some of you most definitely have seen this before, too bad for you.  I didn't promise you anything.  Watch it again, and quit your complaining.  Maybe you don't like it because you identify with the main character and you don't like what that says about you.  I've watched it perhaps a million times and will probably watch it a googolplex more. 

If drunk baby can be drunk, then I most certainly can put a damn smile on my stupid face.  


Thursday, November 10, 2011

This could be exciting, if you have a low threshold for excitment.

Note:  This post was taken down and re-posted.  It also has been edited.  Heavily.  I don't know what was (is) wrong with me, but I posted without proofing.  I also got kind of weepy at the end.  As I recall, I was kind of weepy for the rest of the night about a great deal of things, including: It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia, people being nice, how much I 'L-word' ManFriend, how much I 'L-word' people reading my blog, how much I 'L-word' the texture of the couch I was sitting on, and about being weepy all the time. It wasn't pretty.  I'm leaving it in because being pathetic is funny.  Maybe not laugh with funny, probably more laugh at funny. 

Why hello there.

The exciting news is really not all that exciting.  You're probably going to feel ripped off when you read it.  I feel a little bit bad about including the word 'exciting', not once, but twice in the post title. 

I tried to make this blog even more awesome by rearranging the entire layout.  It was great for about two minutes until I realized instead of making me feel like I was at a dance party, it made me feel like I was stabbing myself with a paring knife.  In a moment of confusion, instead of hitting cancel like a smart person, I twitched out and hit save.  WHAT THE HELL?!

After I finished throwing everything in arms reach and using swear words that hadn't been invented until I screamed them, I tried to return it to the way it was before.  There's something off about it now.  Like a diarrhea fart in the room, it may not be clearly visible, but there is something definitely not right.  I give up. 

Now to the mildly exciting part.  I've added new pages to the blog; an 'about' page and an 'FAQ' page.  And then, equally exciting, I've added better formatting for mobile phones, for all those who like to read Take With A Grain while driving.

PS - don't read and drive.  Or if you do, make sure you are a follower, so I least I know who's death to mourn.  

Note: This is the weepy part I warned you about.  

One of the first rules of blogging is not apologizing for long absences, the 2nd is not having long absences.  I am not in the position to not post for a long time and expect people to want to read what I have to say.  Truth time?  Jen the Bloggess and Allie from Hyperbole and a Half.  They are amazing.  So good.  Pinnacle of supreme awesomeness.  Their talent is overwhelming.  And they get sad, and they can't write.  How can I possibly expect to even be anywhere near as wonderful as they are?  It's overwhelming and intimidating.  Trust me, I know that I will not ever be on that level, but you know?  (insert something better expressed by a sober person).  Anybody? 

I have funny things to say about exploding eggs, but can't even tell you right now.  And they aren't even hoo-ha eggs, they're real eggs.  Which, now that I think about it, is probably less funny-slash-graphic then exploding hoo-ha eggs.  That would be a weird ass super power.  Think about it.